Ego in Spiritual Practice: 8 Praise and Insult Scenario

Impediments to Spiritual Practice

Sadhana or Spiritual practice gets disrupted in two ways. They are through:

1. Praise and
2. Insults.

Self-observation is essential, as the ego thrives silently when left unchecked by conscious awareness. Ego feeds silently when we seek emotional validation from others and collapses when we detach from these fleeting impressions.

If these two factors are kept under check, spiritual practice can give us deeper and better results. Praise reflects the amount of Ego that is boiling within us, to get satisfied and bloated, just as a hard yellow boil that is getting ripe.

This comparison may sound graphic, but it perfectly captures the silent, uncomfortable swelling of ego that most fail to observe.

Our Expectations Bring Us Down

This seemingly harmless exchange can, over time, create a subtle addiction to external validation.

We expect that other people should call us “good” or shower praise on us, in some form. When somebody praises us, it results in the experience of some sort of fulfillment or happiness.

Yet, if we observe deeply, true inner contentment arises only from self-approval, not external validation. The ego, however, remains restless, seeking endless affirmations from the world.

When somebody praises thus “Sir, only you could have achieved this feat.” We reply “Oh no, I am not that capable, it’s because of your support I did it.” Although we tend to shy away from praise through empty words, our hearts seek these very words for our ego-gratification.

This hidden longing for praise reflects spiritual immaturity and a misunderstanding of the nature of the self beyond the ego.

This internal contradiction, modesty in speech but pride in feeling, silently empowers the ego.

Handling Praise as a Spiritual Test

Then we form an opinion about the one praising us. In our hearts, we may think, “Oh he is a nice guy, he understands my worth.” On the other hand, if someone demeans or insults us, we go mad and lose our sense of balance.

In fact, both praise and insult are two faces of the same illusion, because they are based on temporary opinions rather than eternal truths. In this way, our emotional reactions betray the ego’s hidden presence within us, regardless of our outward behavior.

Understanding Emotional Triggers and Ego Reaction

This loss of balance causes anger in our hearts.

One gets hurt and injured very deeply through just words hurled against us. One has to think in quietude, “Is there any shortcoming of the world, which does not exist in me?” We are filled with Lust, Anger, Greed, bodily attachment, self-pride, envy, and a host of other shortcomings that organize our life for us.

Emotional triggers like anger and resentment are the ego’s mechanisms to maintain its fragile identity.

Without inner vigilance and self-observation, these emotional triggers continue to dominate our spiritual path, causing repeated cycles of rise and fall.

Honest self-reflection reveals that we are not isolated from the faults we judge in others; rather, they are deeply intertwined within our own being.

Why is our Inner Environment Clouded?

Whether the person is a millionaire or a bonded laborer, all of them have these critical shortcomings ingrained within them.

We are all prisoners of Maya, bound by karmic impressions accumulated over countless lifetimes.

Worldly labels and titles may differ, but the inner structure of human imperfections remains strikingly similar.

Ego Dissolution through Self-Observation

The reason for these problems to exist within us is because:

1. We are under the grip of Maya, the great cosmic illusion.
2. We are interested in attaining great spiritual happiness, although we are completely ignorant of what spiritual happiness truly is.

True happiness is not excitement or success in the outer world, but the quiet joy of ego dissolution and union with the Divine within.

It is this dangerous combination of illusion and misguided desire, that fuels the restless ego to endlessly chase mirages.

True liberation begins when we realize that the ego’s need for validation is rooted in Maya’s illusion.

The Great Illusion that Grips Us

Since we are under the grip of Maya, we consider our body to be our Real Self. This causes a major error in the way we look at the world and the way we operate in the world. The false identification with the body is the root of all suffering, perpetuated by the ego’s insistence on separation and individuality.

The ego builds its entire empire on this foundational misidentification, making spiritual clarity almost impossible without conscious effort. Looking for spiritual happiness is natural and eternal within us. Hence, our search for such happiness continues without a break.

However, without correct spiritual discernment, the ego keeps redirecting this search outward, making even spiritual practices an unconscious extension of pride. Unfortunately, without right understanding, this search often leads us deeper into dissatisfaction rather than liberation.

A combination of the above two positions within us keeps us going the wrong way and complicates our very survival. Thus, the seeker must constantly question: “Am I seeking God, or am I secretly seeking recognition and validation?”

Spiritual texts across traditions warn that an ego-driven life is like rowing a boat against the current, exhausting yet going nowhere.

The Illusion of External Success

We are ready to lie, cheat, manipulate, and do a host of other types of scheming that religion considers unethical or wrong. Although everybody resorts to unfair means, no one readily accepts these faults and has 101 reasons to defend oneself.

This is because of the strong, unyielding ego. People have developed the skill to get themselves called “good” by others. For this, people have toiled and garnered knowledge.

The Ego Gives Us a Painful “Happy” Ride

Nobody cares to reform but is more enthusiastic to hear well about themselves from others anyway. The ego cleverly masquerades its cravings as ambition, respect, or dignity, while quietly feeding on emotional highs and lows.

This tendency highlights the ego’s clever strategy: it offers fleeting joys while keeping us shackled to deeper pains. Insult is another area which can never be avoided. However good one may behave or expect well from others, one tends to get insulted.

Insults, when consciously accepted without reaction, become a sharp instrument that cuts away layers of false identity. Each insult acts as a stress test, revealing the hidden cracks in our inner stability. Each insult, when consciously accepted without reaction, becomes a sharp instrument that cuts away layers of false identity.

The journey toward ego dissolution demands immense humility, patience, and emotional resilience. By learning to observe these reactions without immediate retaliation, we can slowly begin to loosen the ego’s grip. But if one is not able to handle insult, one gets angered in such a way that even basic intelligence is lost.

This also happens because of ego, which only sees “good” within oneself and refuses to accept any insult, because of this self-inflicted goodness.

Overcoming praise and insult is a powerful method of ego dissolution taught across Sanatana Dharma.

Transcending Praise and Insult through Discipline

Spiritual discipline can yield results only if one consciously protects oneself from reacting either to praise or to insult.

Till the time one is under the supervision of the power of Maya, one can never be relieved from the tendencies of hurt and elation born out of insult and praise respectively.

Man is happy pointing fingers at others but hardly looks at oneself, because he is too scared to face reality. Inner surrender transforms every insult into a tool for spiritual purification.

People out of envy, even do not spare saints and sages and try to trap them because of the poison of envy in their hearts.

Prahlad Maharaj’s demon father Hiranyakashyipu was envious of his own son and planned to murder him, because the son would not accept his father as God and instead depended on Lord Narayana as his benefactor. The ones who are free from praise and insult, who do not look for conformity from society, are the ones who have truly transcended matter.

Spiritual Discipline is the Only Solution

Spiritual discipline can yield results only if one consciously protects oneself from reacting either to praise or to insult. Till the time one is under the supervision of the power of Maya, one can never be relieved from the tendencies of hurt and elation born out of insult and praise respectively.

Man is happy pointing fingers at others but har ly looks at oneself, because he is too scared to look at himself and face reality.

Steps to handle Praise and Insults

One can take the following steps so that praise and insult do not affect one’s inner mood and spiritual discipline proceeds with favorable results
1) Acceptance at point blank that one is full of faults and that only the Lord can help. One has to make prayers of surrender to the Lord daily recognizing one’s inner faults.

2) When somebody praises us, immediately transfer that praise unto the Lord and one should shirk of every bit of residue in one’s heart by only remembering the Lord and passing on praise to Him.

3) When someone insults you, one has to feel the insult deeply and find oneself worth the insult and much more thereby accepting the insults as a much needed tonic to puncture the painful boil of ego that is unnecessarily exploding within us.

4) Continuing to take a humble position in the heart and consider oneself as the servant of the Lord and attribute everything to Him; considering that it is by the Lord’s will that praises and insults are being hurled at us. One should consider insults and praises as great teachers whose intention is actually to puncture the ego rather than to nurture it.

Now the question comes, how can we become a good disciple so that we become capable of handling Praises and Insults. Here we look at Guru, Grace and the Disciple. Because no plan is complete, unless there is a way to implement and get results out of them

Best Qualities of a Disciple

A Guru is a personality, a representative of the Supreme Lord. He is capable of driving out grief and infatuation from the heart. But there are some conditions that determine the flowering of such auspiciousness.

Grace depends more on the position of the disciple than on the quality of the Guru. Only a qualified disciple is like an open vessel, can benefit from a Guru. Naturally, how can milk stay in a vessel full of leakages or holes?

Not a drop of milk would remain even if the ocean of milk were poured. On the other hand, even if the Guru is incompetent but the disciple is sincere, Grace shall follow and flood him with all spiritual qualities.

In such cases, Providence shall automatically displace a false guru and handover a truly enlightened master to the deserving disciple. More than a Guru, it is the disciple, who must adorn great qualities. The rest, providence shall arrange for.

Top 4 Qualities of a Disciple

There are many types of disciples. However, some qualities are certainly expected out of a disciple. Only a competent disciple with all the qualities mentioned below, shall attain the teachings of the Guru.

1) Surrender

A true disciple is ready to surrender his all to his guru even if it means staking his most prized possession.

In reality, there are countless enlightened masters who abound the planet, but it is hard to find a single soul who delights in taking a humble position, ready to empty himself and offer his heart to the Guru. This is the problem in today’s world.

The level of our surrender determines the rate of our redemption. This is the secret.
The more you surrender, the more love and care will flood our hearts. The more we resist, the greater the anxiety of possessing things.

2) Purity of Intentions

The Lord rewards seeing your sincerity of purpose. He is not physically accessible so he has made his appearance in the form of a Guru. Thus He understands our minutest intention; what we value and what not. It is important that disciples should seek and ask the right questions. He should seek the Absolute Truth and nothing else.

Only such an intention can propel sadhana or spiritual practice. There should be no secondary intention. A Guru-disciple relationship can never blossom under a malicious agenda. For instance- Many institutions pay seekers, Gurus and disciples, to run their organisations.

Such practices will undoubtedly derail Truth seeking. When money takes precedence over spiritual pursuance, spirituality eventually takes a backseat. There is no doubt about this.

3) No Worldly Talk

A seeker of Truth can never participate in seeking, as a part-time objective. It has never been the case with our sages of the bygone years, nor shall it be the case for those who are yet to make their appearance. A Truth seeker has only one objective and that is Truth, synonymous to the Supreme Being.

Chit-chatting about spirituality, simply means that one is seeking newer avenues of satisfying his ego. The path of spirituality is to annihilate the ego, even if it means to finish oneself in such pursuits.

5) Intense Desire to Break Free

A True seeker is ready to die for Truth, even if it means to die penniless. The Lord is on the lookout for such committed souls. A disciple, consumed by the fire of seeking, shall automatically be equipped with the ability to “See” and move ahead.

Such a seeker of Truth shall find the right Guru. If this does not happen, the Supreme Lord shall appear directly or present Himself as the Guru. One gets connected to the Guru through the desire to get liberated from bondage.

The greater the desire to get Liberated, the more the intensity, the faster will a true Guru get connected to you. All other arrangements of Guru-Shishya or teacher-disciple are mere hog wash.

What should we Avoid as Disciples?

There are many categories or shades of disciples. A few traits in disciples can be great hurdles in their spiritual pursuit. Hence, seekers must beware of these poisonous weeds which can blight the beautiful garden of our hearts.

Following are the traits of unworthy disciples-

1) Ego-centredness

The disciple who depends on self-effort, centered in the ego can never derive benefits from the Grace of the Guru. Such a soul looks towards other sources of help and is a slave to the diktat of the mind. Driven by unnecessary variety, he never finds peace of mind.

2) Questioning-Mentality in a Wasteful Mode

There are other disciples who take to the mode of questioning or showing undue curiosity in order to keep the Guru busy. Such disciples are interested in hogging attention alone.
These people suck the spirit out of spirituality with their behaviour and tendency of wasting the Guru’s precious time.

Interestingly, whatever the Guru answers falls on deaf ears. Nothing gets to the heart of these pseudo-seekers.

3) Questioning-Mentality in a Challenging Mode

There are many so-called disciples, who have read some Shastras or spiritual material and have intellectualized certain concepts just as a parrot rants words, which makes no sense to it. Such disciples simmer out of envy and so are always in a challenging mode.

They take the first opportunity to challenge the Guru in an overpowering manner and try to make their point on spiritual matters. In fact more than 75% of the disciple community is infected with this sickness. This is when Grace of any type leaves such unfortunate souls, who wallow in the mush of words, untouched by Truth and Power of Divine Mercy.

The Guru is quick to recognize such miscreants and only prays to Bhagavan to spare such beings, who do not even care for their well-being, out of total ignorance. Maya Devi has her own ways o deal with such disciples and sucks out all spiritual merit from their lives.

A Disciple is supposed to get answers to all his questions. But his mood is of primary importance. He should stand in front of the Guru like a chataka bird, which is all ready to with its beak turned upward towards the sky to accept the first drop of rain water. The mood of the chataka bird is that of total acceptance and surrender.

Without such an attitude no attainments are possible, even if one has mastered all the scriptures of the world, through rote reading. Such minds, remain arid, even after having drunk the entire ocean of Vedic literature.

Without the Grace and Mercy of Guru, knowledge cannot seep in. Leave alone attaining Spiritual Wisdom .

3) Showing off Wealth or Money

There are another lot of disciples who feel that they maintain the Guru with their money. So, they show off their money power by buying things lavishly for the Guru, to attract his attention.

Somewhere, they feel that the Guru depends on their wealth-power. In these cases, even the Gurus are responsible for encouraging this overarching behaviour of their disciples.
The Guru fails to correct such reckless disciples leading to a non-spiritual relationship.

Also, an unworthy disciple tries to evaluate the master and pay for the price of his counselling. Such a relationship shall only bring doom due to undermining the purity of the sacred relationship.

4) Flattery

Some disciples become yes-men of their Gurus. Conversely, some Gurus also get influenced by the so-called docile behaviour of the disciple. However such Guru Disciple relationships run by ego-massaging intentions. Hence there is no truth in such a relationship.

5) Hunger for Power

Some disciples follow their gurus and become his favourite in so many ways. Even the guru likes them. However, these disciples are power-hungry. They take undue advantage of their closeness to the Guru to dominate others who are trying to get access to the Guru.

This is a ridiculous disciple, who has forgotten all about his spiritual goals and now seems to be content, involved with the politics around his master. He is now training himself in power-play. He wishes to be the heir-apparent of the Guru.

Sadly, these individuals have failed in material life and now have taken up spirituality as a means to satisfy their material desires.